So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
