I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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