she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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