"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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