Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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