Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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