Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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