you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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