no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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