My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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