Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
