Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
