How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize