My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He? As in you personified your dick?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
