You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You need a sexual gate keeper
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
