how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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