My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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