butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
