i love accidental penises.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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