you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
