filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize