I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
