You made me cry and you don't even care
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
