I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize