fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
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