Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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