that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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