All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize