Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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