Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
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Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
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But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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