So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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