woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
