got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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