billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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