She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
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My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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