I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
