Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
