i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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