I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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