Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
