need another drink. this is the easiest way
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize