are you so shy because you have an std?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize