i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
