Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
