he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
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We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
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I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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