I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
