I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
be right there i have to get my cape
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize