I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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