just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
