when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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