Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
