before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
