maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
