The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Randomize
