i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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