i would punch a child for taco bell
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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