the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
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Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
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The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
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