dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize