you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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