I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Let's get the cat blown out
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
