Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Shame - the story of my life.
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