we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
